“WE” are reaching new levels of stupidity. “WE” are learning a lot. Let me be clear, I am not saying this kid is stupid. I AM saying his choices are stupid. You just wait!
This evening, at a ridiculous night hour (no judging..we are night people), Kaiden decided to shower. I am getting annoyed by how long this shower is because I am getting kind of tired and I need to go to bed. After some yelling and cuss words, the shower goes off and I wait… and I wait… and I start yelling again for him to get out and GO TO BED sir!
He told me he was taking care of the scabs on his face. I didn’t remember scabs on his face, but they are not outside the realm of possibility. He finally walks out, face covered in Vaseline to help his scabs. 1. VASELINE 2. NOT SCABS!
Now, I have seen things as a parent. I have done weird shit because of my kid. I have even heard some doosy excuses and untruths over the years as this boy tries to avoid trouble.
Tonight, he tells me not to worry because it is just his skin peeling. Weird. It doesn’t look like skin. Pause and remember…He didn’t have anything on his face before the shower, I am sure of it. I smell a scandal!
I tell him to tell me what in the world is on his face. He swears it is skin. Ugh. I start my search of what he got into, hoping it wasn’t something of Cassie or Robs. More screaming. I can’t find anything and now I NEED to know. It wasn’t gum. I wish at this moment that it was. I don’t think it was a glue. With this kid, anything is possible.
Then it hits me!
Kid…did you get into tree sap?
Uhhh….yes. I fell in the grass and it got on my face.
Hmmm. Weird. So I Google up tree sap skin removal. After an hour of scrubbing and scratching. Oil, peanut butter, baking soda, and dawn dish soap I asked him two final questions: Why didn’t you tell me when it happened and Buddy, if you fell into a random pile of tree sap (lies…all lies), how come it is on both sides of your face, all over your hands, and up your arms? He looks at me with a thinking straight face and says hmmm… You make a good point. I can’t explain how it happened other than I must have landed face down. (Insert eye roll)
Also Kid, why don’t you have any on your nose?
He changed the subject on me.
*update* He still doesn’t want to talk about it. I did get it out of him the location of this incident. It was as I suspected. He was taking wood from a tree Robbie cut down. The only logical thing to do with small log chunks is to strip of the bark and chop them up with an ax…or whatever tool he was borrowing yesterday. Turns out, sap is under the bark of a tree. (obviously)
The mystery was still how it got everywhere. Well, he claims he had an itch on both sides of his face. I will absolutely let you know if his claim can be substantiated.
Life lessons learned today:
- Get sap off hands immediately.
- Ask for help when needed.
- Don’t strip bark off a tree in the dark.