Today was both exciting and exhausting. The docs came in to check on Tay and they both agreed that she is ready to be set free. Her pain is under control and her blood work looks good. We got our first peek at the incision site as the resident doc changed her dressing. They had used a zip tie tape to close. When her surgeon came in, he was a careful to keep his distance and didn’t ask her to stand, for fear of making her throw up again. He explained that she is completely closed underneath the top layer, they just use the zip tape to pull the incision tighter for a smaller scar. I’ll put the picture of this at the end so if you are a person who isn’t a lover of graphic-ish pictures, you have a chance to break away. If you love seeing this kind of stuff, check it out! It is so cool! Either way, Tay is excited to have a scar she will get to tell a crazy story about.
The nurse that checked Taylor in on Monday was finally back to work Friday. He asked her if she had named her 3D spine yet. She thought about it and decided it should be a Mc- name, like McDreamy or McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy. We talked about McSpiney and threw some other names around, but eventually settled on McCurvy. She proudly displayed her McCurvy trophy as she rode through the halls down to the front door. It is a symbol of what once was, but also a symbol of her strength moving forward.
We were very fortunate that my parents came up with their motorhome for the soul purpose of getting her home comfortably. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to drive four hours smooshed in a car after that type of surgery. We would have been stopping about every hour or so just for her to get out, stretch, and move around. Her ride down was really smooth. The first thing Taylor noticed when she made her way into the motorhome was the couch. She commented that it was much more comfortable than the hospital bed. The couch was also spacious enough to tuck those pillows all around her for some added cushioning. Don’t worry, she does have a seatbelt on under all of that stuff.
When we finally made it home, we got Taylor comfortable and settled in. I set off to get all of the necessities we would need in our new, temporary normal. I was so busy running around that I did the absolute worst thing I could have done. I forgot to give her a dose of her major pain meds. I saw the alarm when it went off and silenced it. It just didn’t even register. By the time I got home, she was writhing in pain. I’ll tell you what, it is one thing watching your kiddo in uncontrollable pain, but it is another thing when you know it was your fault that she was in this much pain.
We spent the better part of the night trying to catch up on pain control. It is really important to stay ahead and this was another slap in your face reminder as of why. I am pretty sure it was around this point that my body decided that I was too exhausted after this long week to function much longer. I felt like a failure. I was filled with guilt. It was all too much to try and keep track of on my own. I needed help. I sat down with Rob and we put alarms in our phone to make sure each medication would be given when she needed it. She had to take meds every two to three hours, we made a plan to take turns waking up at night.
I was taken back to the days when she was a baby. I would set out the stuff to quickly make a bottle so all I had to do was wonder over with my eyes half closed, heat up the water, dump the pre-measured formula, shake, and wander back over to the crying baby to feed her,eyes still mostly closed. This time, however, I’m delivering drugs.
I prepared tiny pill containers labeled with the time and set up strategically on the dresser so I could just grab and go. I set up the Taylor monitor so I could listen for her if she needed anything or fell out of bed. Paranoia set in, just like when she was little and I would listen to make sure she was breathing. It is a weird feeling to want to listen to your grown kid breathe, but guess what…I listened.
Overall, today was both exciting and exhausting. I am glad my baby girl is home and on the mend. I can see that it is going to take us some time to get into our new routine, one without the comfort and guidance of hospital staff.
Ok…this is where I am going to post her surgical incision picture. Now is the time to leave if you can’t handle it. You have been warned.
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How awesome is that?!