Well, any joy I have left in the season has been burnt to ashes. All of the hope I had of bonding over chocolates..FINISHED. Am I being a little dramatic? Maybe.
It is possible that I am hallucinating because of the stench that is currently filling my house. Weird smells are becoming more and more common. I just live here, so don’t judge me by the stench. It is probably because of the boy and his curiosity (or the girl and her stinky shoes).
I have hit the point of the night where I really need a nap, but the nap is going to turn into an overnight situation. I have been trying to talk my kids into going to bed for about half an hour. I was sitting on my couch upstairs, trying to figure out the next step I was going to take in life, when a smell crept up the stairs and into my nostrils.
At first, it filled me with wonder. The kind of wonder that makes you think- What the hell am I smelling now? I jumped up to go investigate whatever is on fire. Kaiden comes moseying up the stairs trying to look as innocent as possible. We have already discovered that this kid SUCKS at lying. As soon as we make eye contact, I know he is behind the smell. He knows he has been busted. He tried anyway.
“What is that smell?” I ask. With a shrug, he nonchalantly replies, “I don’t know.”
“BUT YOU DO KNOW. You do know because you just did something. WHAT DID YOU DO?”. Panic and anger set in, not knowing which emotion should come forth first. As soon as I made sure there weren’t flames pouring out of my kitchen, I knew what emotion just won.
My chocolate. My precious chocolate, sent to me to add a little taste of home to our holiday baking, looked both melty and dry in my little electric skillet. It took me a minute to register what was happening. It was indeed the source of the stench. It was burnt. That little muppet decided to plug in the skillet and crank it up to high. To put this in perspective, melting chocolate in a skillet must happen at a snails pace. You literally turn it on just enough to turn on the light and then turn it down a smidge. Turning it on as hot as it can go will not melt the chocolate. It will burn it to ash in a matter of minutes. And that is exactly what happened. <insert the angriest mom face you can think of> This is exactly why my WTF wrinkle is as deep as it is. Seriously, you could ski down that thing.
I tell the kid to get into bed. Naturally, he decides to shower first. Then he has the nerve to ask me if he can have Alexa in his room so he can listen to meditation music. Ummmm…no. You can lay in bed and have sweet dreams of burning chocolate. Also, you get to eat the chocolate I saved from the burn anytime you think you need to eat chocolate. You are WEL-COME!
*Special side note: I couldn’t save the chocolate. It all tastes like a burnt butt.