Training Tay: Episode 2

I have been feeling very guilty about failing as a parent and freaking out about the learners permit. As a teacher, there are skills you need to break down when you teach someone something new. I have done this in my head for the baby steps to driving.

Step 1: Exploration: Look at the instrument panel and guess what each thing does. Flash the lights. Turn the blinkers on and off. Find the windshield wipers. Adjust the mirrors and seats. Seat belt on. Seat belt off. Seat belt on. Seat belt off. Allow for answering questions…there will be many questions.

Step 2: Pulling forward. Any chance you can get to move the car a very short distance without anything around, allow the child to pull forward. This also allows for some braking instruction.

Step 3: Backing up. Start praying, because this is where things get interesting. Please work on additional braking instruction.

Step 4: Drive up and down the driveway. Allow for parking and a little bit of steering practice. This is also a great place for a variety of safe driving lessons such as the lecture about watching for random obstacles jumping in front of you, like deer…or the dog. I will add that pup dog Thunder has some really amazing timing and I am pretty sure he heard this lecture and wanted to assist me in proving my point.

Step 5: Going through the gate.

Step 6: Probably should get some time on an actual road. As a parent, this is the time to look into any available drivers education courses. Download daily guided meditations to prep you for letting go of your fears.

Step 7: Back roads in town

Step 8: Country roads

Step 9: Main Streets in town

Step 9A … One way Streets

Step 10: Freeway

This is my plan of action. As I have mentioned before, I am stuck on step 6.

I was driving around in town with the kid last week. The conversation has been replaying in my head about how I am no longer the cool mom and I am stressing her out….yada yada, ungrateful, yada. As I was driving down a not as busy back road in town I decided that now would be a good time to reclaim my cool mom title. I pulled into an empty parking lot, parked the car, and got out. Tay looked at me in shock as she realized what was happening.

She gets out of the car and stumbles into the driver’s seat. I’ve gotta tell you, her lack of confidence here stirred up some anxiety, but I decided to stay strong. You know…never let them see you sweat. Well, friends. She saw me sweat. And panic. Again.

She did really well pulling out of the parking lot. I had picked a perfect location to test her knowledge. There was a stop light. A left turn. People on the road. A stop sign. It was beautiful. What I didn’t take into account is her actual event anxiety.

She started jerking that steering wheel all over the place. It felt like the wobble you get when you first learn to ride a bike. We probably looked like a couple of drunk old ladies driving down the road. I am trying to calmly remind her to release her tension and gently guide the wheel where you want it to go. She is excited to finally go over 15 miles an hour, but after about 30 seconds I am ready to regain control. I had to keep reminding myself to fake it until you make it. Keep confidence and she will keep confidence and all of that other crap.

Finally, four streets later, I instruct her to take a left. OF COURSE someone would be driving behind us and someone else would be driving toward us on that almost empty street at the exact moment I would like her to turn. Her fear of braking abruptly takes over. She starts to brake when I instructed, but instead of stopping when I tell her to stop, SHE KEEPS ROLLING! I start screaming. OH MY HOLY SWEAR WORD!!! S-T-O-PPPPPP!!!

She looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language she has never heard before and continues to roll so she won’t slam on the brakes. As I begin seeing my life flash before my very eyes, I remind myself to continue instructing her on how she actually needs to make a left turn before my brain completely shuts down. I make a mental note that we will also need to revisit the braking lesson.

Wait for the car ahead to pass completely. NO! COMPLETELY!

…and then she begins to sl-ow-ly roll through the intersection. DRIVE!!!! NO, YOU DO NOT NEED TO ROLL HERE! Put your damn foot on the damn gas and turn that damn corner…but don’t go to fast. Sweet mother of mercy! You are going to kill us both! Pay attention to the other cars on the road. Take another left into this parking lot and GET OUT OF MY CAR!

“Mom, that was scary.”

Yep! I am glad we didn’t die.

We are not yet ready for step 6.